How I Wronged You
by A Wise Owl
Summary: Loki is saved by Thor on Svartalfheim. Torn between being grateful to Loki for helping him defeat Malekith and saving Jane, but still remembering all the terrible deeds his brother has done, Thor must face the decision what to do with the emerald-eyed god now. He promised Loki vengeance and afterwards his cell. It doesn't seem right to Thor anymore, but Odin seems to disagree.
1. Chapter 1

"See you in hell, monster." Loki spits out and to Thor's astonishment, Kurse gets swallowed by the explosion of his own grenade that his…Loki mischievously attached to him.

Picking up the vestige of his remaining strength, the bloody God of Thunder pushes himself off the ground and starts running towards the Trickster. He saw that Kurse ran the sword through Loki's stomach. Thor's head is pounding with panic as he is approaching Loki's lying figure.

Surely he could start calling Loki his brother again. Yet Thor cannot bring himself to do it just yet. Too much has happened.

Crouching down next to his brother while trying to pick him up, Thor utters the first thing that comes to his mind.

"Ah…you fool. You didn't listen."

Loki wasn't supposed to fight the Kurse. The monster was too strong for someone who has spent all his time in the dungeons. If Loki got hurt in carrying out their revenge, mother would never forgive him. No matter Loki's deeds, she still kept telling Thor to look out for, as she worded it, his younger brother. Thor felt no need to comment it anyhow as Loki was going to spend the rest of his days in the dungeons.

Yet now he felt a stab of guilt in his stomach.

This was his fault.

His plan. And Loki got hurt in the process.

"I know. I am a fool. I am a fool." Loki hisses, his voice filled with pain and fatigue. It takes Thor only one look into the mischievous eyes to understand that Loki didn't mean only this situation.

"Stay with me, okay?" Thor gets out despite the lump in his throat.

"I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry." Loki tries to speak as clearly as possible, but each word is weaker than the previous one. It is as if he desperately needs Thor to understand what he is apologising for.

If Loki is trying to apologise, it means…

No.

"Shhh." Thor tries to soothe the God of Mischief. "It's okay." Thor has never been the most eloquent of Asgard, but his tone conveys what was needed. And what he was unable to say out loud.

Don't worry about it now, brother.

"It's alright." Thor feels the urge to continue speaking to keep Loki's attention because this was not happening. It couldn't be.

Yet it was. And suddenly, Thor knew what Loki needed to hear.

"I'll tell father what you did here today." Thor says and gives a nod of encouragement to both of them.

The look in Loki's eyes makes Thor understand that he never understood him. The Thunderer thought that the younger god sought the approval of the Allfather. Yet Loki's eyes gaze at him seriously and Thor knows immediately that even now, he managed to say the wrong thing.

"I didn't do it for him."

Loki closes his eyes.

And Thor screams.

The skies rumble and change their colour to a threateningly black one. The clouds are looming all around as the terrible, deafening sound of uncountable thunders roars through the inhospitable landscape of Svartalfheim. The lightnings start to dance all around the menacing skies that serve them as their stage.

No. This is not happening.

Loki has to be alright. Thor didn't mean it when he refused to see his brother in his dungeons. When he refused to visit him. When he refused to ask him why he actually attacked Midgard. When he refused to tell him how their mother died.

Frigga loved Loki. And Loki loves Frigga.

His brother, yes you oaf he is your brother, deserves to know how their mother died. Why didn't Thor tell him?

Why didn't Thor tell him that Odin didn't mean it when he told him that his birthright was to die cast out onto a frozen rock? Thor heard it. He heard Loki's condemnation, but he didn't have the stomach to make himself seen by his brother. Why didn't he tell him that their father's cruel words shocked him?

He can never tell him now.

He can never tell him that he also is sorry.

Loki told him. In the end he did apologize.

Why didn't Thor do the same.

He should have done the same.

"Thor." A voice rips Thor out of his desperate mind. He looks up to see Jane standing next to his brother. She is looking at him with her brilliant, bright eyes.

"Thor, the lightning. Hit him with the lightning." She says, her voice calm and controlled.

"What?" Thor doesn't understand. What is she saying? The monster ran the sword through his brother. What does lighting have to do with that?

"Take Mjolnir, summon the lighting and do it. We'll take care of his wound later." Jane repeats, her voice commanding.

Thor trusts her. And so he does so. He calls for Mjolnir, lifts it towards the menacing skies and absorbs the power of thunder and lighting into his weapon. Then, forbidding his mind from thinking about anything at all, he hits his brother's chest.

Loki's head shoots up and the God of Mischief opens his eyes. They are full of pain and confusion.

"Loki. Oh brother." Thor cries out. He doesn't know what to do. His mind is too slow to comprehend the situation that has been unfolding in front of him.

"Pull his tunic up." Jane commands again and Thor listens. He pulls the fabric up to reveal a nasty wound bubbling with blood.

Thor tears his cape with one quick move and hands it to his lover. Jane gently and skilfully bandages it around Loki's wound to stop the bleeding.

"Loki." Jane speaks addressing the Tricksters directly.

Loki looks at her with his brilliant, emerald eyes which mirror the utter confusion that has overcome his mind.

"Can you use your magic to at least partially repair the damage in your belly?" Jane asks.

Loki nods weakly and focuses. After a moment, he whispers.

"I have partially closed the wound. Together with your bandaging it should be enough to stabilise it." His voice is struck with hurt, but the meaning of his words is clear.

He will make it.

Loki closes his eyes and lets his head rest against the ground. He focuses all his energy to help him concentrate all his magic to restore his health and energy as much as possible.

Thor understood what Loki was doing. He stood up and went towards Jane. Now that he knew that his brother was to live, he didn't feel comfortable anymore calling the Trickster his brother again or showing too much affection towards him. This was still Loki. The trickster who attacked Midgard, who tried to enslave the innocent planet. The one who tried to wipe out an entire race. His own race. Yet also the one who deserved to know that their mother did not suffer. Now Thor had been given another chance to make it right. He should talk to Loki. He should make him feel safe. But this is not his brother. It is a trickster. No.

Thor shuts the emotions down and passionately kisses Jane. He wants to convey the gratefulness for saving Loki's life but mainly, he wants to stop thinking.

It works.

"Thor." Jane interrupts their kiss and looks at Thor intensely. "Malekith."

Of course. Malekith.

The skies are still rumbling, the momentum being kept since the moment when Thor was thinking the worst. The God of Thunder is aware that this is the biggest storm he has ever managed to summon. He wields Mjolnir and makes it absorb all the energy. Then he makes all the power go in the direction where the Dark Elf's spaceship should be.

The collision is too strong for the spaceship to bear. The mechanisms stop working. Thor and Jane are able to see the spaceship for a second before it explodes with all the elves on board being caught inside. Malekith included.

"It's over, Thor." Jane whispers, her voice filled with hope.

"Yes." Thor answers incredulously. They did it. The three of them truly managed to defeat Malekith and save the Nine Realms from chaos and bloodshed.

"Thor, I must go to Midgard. At once. I need to find Eric and tell all of them that I am alright." Jane says to Thor.

"Loki mentioned that there is a passage to Midgard in the nearby cave." He answers. He hates Jane to be going away so soon, but he is aware of the implications of her words. Jane needs some time alone to recover from what she has endured lately. She is a rational, logical person and she needs to comprehend and understand it for herself. Thor respects her space.

The God of Thunder leans to Jane and kisses her, this time lovingly and gently. Jane eagerly returns the kiss through which both lovers convey the affection they feel for each other.

They both need some time to sort themselves out. But they will wait for each other. They know they will.

Unwillingly, Thor lets go of the kiss. He rests his forehead against Jane's.

"Don't let me wait for so long again." She whispers, her voice trembling.

"You have my word." Thor answers as he is watching the brilliant mortal girl walking towards the cave and safely disappearing back in her realm.

The Thunderer takes a moment to compose himself.

He has to deal with Loki.

…

Loki has been lying on the ground. He was aware of his brother destroying the spaceship with the rest of the Dark Elves in it.

The lean god smiled to himself.

Mamma was avenged.

He then focused on what he knew Frigga would want him to do. He puts all his effort into healing his wound and restoring his energy.

Loki was a powerful enough sorcerer to understand that he would not be able to fully heal the wound, but he could make sure it wouldn't bleed much. He could also use his magic to replenish some of the energy he has lost.

He was doing precisely that when a shadow loomed over him.

The raven-haired god opened his eyes to see his brother standing over him with an unreadable expression.

Loki remembered what he told Thor when he thought that he was dying. The God of Mischief apologized for unspecified everything. He knew that Thor understood that, and he couldn't bring himself to regret the words he uttered in the moment of panic. If anything, Loki felt relieved that the situation finally forced him to do what he wanted to do for a long time. He prayed that hopefully, he and Thor could began building some sort of truce or reconciliation. In the end, Loki has been calling Thor his brother since the Thunderer approached him in the dungeons. He secretly hoped that Thor would return the favour.

Yet Thor's expression was unreadable, and Loki felt a shiver running through his spine. He may have healed most of his injury and replenished enough energy to stand up and walk, but he was far away from fighting state. If Thor wanted to hurt him, he could.

"Loki." Thor's word was controlled now, miles away from the vulnerable tone he used when he though that Loki was dying. "Can you stand up?"

Loki noted that Thor spoke in the exactly same way he did when he saw him in the dungeons. That surely meant something, but the deceptive god was too tired to analyse it now.

He knew he was at Thor's mercy now.

Loki nodded and tried to push himself of the ground. He sat up and breathed heavily. Then he used the strength of his arms to try pushing himself up. He winced when a pain shot from his belly and he might have fallen back to the ground if a pair of strong arms didn't catch him to help him up. Once standing on uncertain feet and trembling legs, Loki brought himself to glimpse insecurely at his brother. He didn't thank him for not letting him fall on the ground. Not before he knew what Thor's intentions for him were.

"Mother didn't suffer. She fought bravely, and her death was clean and quick. She died a warrior." Thor spoke, the same controlled tone that unnerved his brother.

Loki couldn't stop the hot tears flooding his eyes. He produced a sad, honest smile and tried to make sure the tears wouldn't split onto his cheeks. He knew he would be unsuccessful at this attempt before he began. Frigga has always managed to stir emotions in her little son, even when Loki tried to suppress them the most. Loki knew that he was completely defenceless when it came to his mum. He felt the hot tears making their way down his dirty face. With shame, he brought his gaze to Thor's. He hated crying in front of his older brother, but he knew he couldn't help it. He couldn't stop himself from destroying everything in his cell when the soldier told him about the Queen's death. He couldn't stop himself from mourning for her now.

"Thank you for telling me." Loki said with a shaking voice, trying to supress a sob.

Thor only nodded.

The God of Mischief dried his cheeks with his fingertips and drew a deep breath in and out to compose himself. Only when he was certain that he could speak without breaking down, he asked Thor the question that was burning him inside.

"What now?"

…

Thor has been asking himself the same question since Jane left. He tried to keep a façade in front of Loki, but his mind was screaming with possibilities.

What was he supposed to do?

Loki saved him. Without him, the Kurse would beat him to death and then kill Jane as well. He threw Jane out of the way of the grenade. He almost paid with his life for his selfless acts of bravery.

Yet this was the God of Mischief. What if he somehow planned all of this beforehand, hoping to escape in an unguarded moment or thinking that Thor would be lenient towards him and let him go?

No.

Thor couldn't let Loki go. What would he tell the Allfather? It wouldn't be right.

He must bring Loki back to Asgard.

 _I promise you vengeance…and afterwards this cell._

Yet that didn't seem right either. Loki had proven himself capable of redemption. Even more, Loki proved himself wanting the redemption and actively working towards it. He should be given a chance to prove himself.

But Thor couldn't take any chances. He had to keep himself focused so Loki wouldn't catch him off guard if he was truly faking the whole situation somehow.

Yes. The right thing was to take Loki back to Asgard. As he promised, he would tell father what Loki has done here today. Then, they could sit down and think about a proper way to alter Loki's sentence.

Thor connected his gaze with Loki. His determination was almost shattered by what he found inside them. Loki was scared, confused, in pain and mourning for Frigga.

But Thor wouldn't hesitate.

With determination, Thor took a step towards the younger god. He was taken back when Loki took a step back and flinched.

Surely Loki couldn't be afraid of him. That didn't sound right. Yet Thor understood that Loki's magic was spent on tending to his injury which left him utterly defenceless. Which, taking into account their incident on the spaceship when Thor roughly pushed Loki against the edge, didn't make Loki's careful demeanour that surprising.

Yet Thor didn't voice any of these words out. Instead, he spoke in his God of Thunder voice.

"Don't try to run away, Loki."

Loki's eyes portrayed even more fear.

"I am not trying to." The God of Mischief mumbled and unable to keep the eye contact anymore, he stared at his feet. He was so tired. He wanted to retort something sarcastic that would cut through Thor's controlled behaviour. Yet the whole incident and talk about Frigga drained him.

The sound of ringing metal made his gaze shoot straight back up.

Thor took out the manacles.

"Thor…" Loki began but his brother cut him off.

"I appreciate what you did here, Loki. I wish I could trust you, but I still cannot bring myself to do so fully. We are returning to Asgard. I promise I will talk with father about your sentence. Until then, you will remain in your cell."

Loki couldn't return to the cell. He was suffocating there; the space was getting smaller and smaller every day, the bright white walls screaming at him that he would never get away. He would never see the sunrise or sunset again. Never feel the gentle breeze caressing his cheek. Never experience what it meant to be free.

"Thor. Brother, please…" Yet Loki knew he chose the wrong words.

"You said it to me before, you know. Brother, please. I was fooled then. You asked me if I was always going to fall for it. Not anymore. We are going back to Asgard. Now."

And Thor quickly moved towards Loki and before the Trickster had any chance to move away, the God of Thunder roughly grabbed his arm.

"Thor, I will come with you. I won't try to run away. The…it is not necessary." Loki glanced at the manacles in Thor's hands nervously. He didn't like the idea of being bound again, even more helpless than he was now.

Thor seemed to be weighting his words.

"I am sorry, Loki. But it is necessary." Thor said finally and grabbed for Loki's wrist. Yet the emerald-eyed god wasn't to go without a fight. He made a quick move and Thor's hands grabbed nothing. The Trickster took two fast steps back, his gaze never leaving Thor.

"Loki." Thor said, the threat clearly audible in his voice. "Don't make me use force. You are injured, and I don't mean to make it worse. But if you resist, I will be forced to subdue you with force. And I will not hesitate."

Loki closed his eyes.

Thor didn't wait for anything and approached the lean god again.

Loki opened his eyes.

This time, they wore a resigned expression. Loki lifted his arms up and bent them in elbows. Thor took his wrists and quickly attached the manacles on them.

Immediately, Loki felt their weight and their restrictions. He let his arms fall down in front of himself. He wasn't free anymore. He couldn't move freely, he couldn't balance properly, and he couldn't fight back had someone tried to punch him.

And that was only the fragment of feelings that would hit him back in his cell.

Loki cast his eyes down in shame. He let his brother grab his elbow. The touch wasn't rough anymore, it was almost gentle, yet Loki couldn't help thinking that his brother turned into his jailor who was bringing him towards the white abyss. At least he didn't put on him the disgusting muzzle.

Both brothers approached their spaceship. Thor led Loki in and made him sit on the place where Jane had been resting on their way here.

"You should rest." Thor said, his tone without emotions.

Loki didn't feel strong enough to do anything and so he let himself be seated, rested his back against the edge of the spaceship and closed his eyes. He let the weariness overcome him and gladly let himself be brought into an unpeaceful slumber. He didn't want to think what would happen when they got back to Asgard.

He didn't want to think about seeing Odin's unforgiving eye again, telling him that everyone would be better off had he died as his Frost Giant parents left him to do. He didn't want to think about the dark dungeons full of demons. He didn't want to think about the last hope that died today; the hope that he could ever redeem himself in the eyes of his brother.

* * *

 **I am working on the next chapter for Grudge. It has been proving to be quite a challenge, but at least I am back to writing ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

The shiny palace of Asgard was looming over the princes in all its beauty.

"Loki. You must wake up." Thor's voice interrupted his brother's slumber and Loki opened his eyes. He had to blink a few times to adjust his sight to the bright light. Then, still in the merciful confusion of having just been woken up, he brought his hands towards his face to rub his eyes with the knuckles of his index fingers. After a moment he brought his hands bit further from his eyes. Something was off.

Loki noticed the cuffs.

His eyes turned into bewilderment which was quickly followed by a hit of realisation.

He cast his eyes down.

Thor was observing his br…Loki very closely. This gesture was so much like his brother used to do when he was younger. Loki never appreciated being woken up. It would take him ages to get out of bed, especially if his delay meant causing a little mischief to those waiting for him.

Thor smiled at the memory.

Then he noticed the palace standing right above them.

It was time to go.

"We must go." The Thunderer said.

Loki didn't answer anything but carefully stood up. He may have not been entirely graceful in doing so, but he was too tired to care. The God of Mischief tried to shield his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at the palace.

How he hated that place.

Instead, he looked at his brother.

Thor was wearing an unreadable expression again and it made Loki wonder whether Thor wasn't turning into him.

The thought made him smirk.

The idea of imagining Odin's face at the idea of having two sons like Loki instead of Thor gave the younger god a strange feeling of satisfaction.

"Whatever you're plotting, Loki, it won't work." Thor reacted strictly while noticing the smirk on Loki's face.

Loki only rolled his eyes in reaction and walked past Thor to get off the spaceship. He didn't fail to hit Thor by the shoulder. Not that his brother's absurdly muscular shoulder would react anyhow to his hit, but he did it because of the principle.

Whatever the principle was.

Thor only gave a sigh and followed Loki.

The brothers reached the gates of the palace soon. As expected, they were faced with a dozen of guards.

What none of them expected was that the Allfather would bother to leave his throne to welcome them back personally.

Loki stopped in his movements a few steps away from Odin and the guards.

Thor ceased walking right by his side.

"Father." Thor said trying to use his thunder voice, but it came out a bit shaky. Loki wasn't the only one who feared the Allfather.

Instead of answering, Odin scrutinized Loki with a raised eyebrow.

"He's cuffed." Odin said finally.

"For a person with only one eye, your observation capacities are truly endless." Loki answered sarcastically, not enjoying being ignored and referred to in the third person.

The guard on Odin's right began walking towards Loki to discipline him for his disrespectful behaviour, but Odin stopped him with a barely visible gesture of his hand.

"I needed Loki in order to get out of Asgard. I didn't intend to go against your judgement. I brought him back to serve the rest of his sentence. Even though you may decide to alter it upon hearing my tales of the battle on Svartalfheim" Thor answered subserviently, and Loki had to control himself not to throw his brother a murderous look.

"And yet you did go against my judgement." Odin remarked.

Thor didn't dare to react.

Loki found it unworthy to voice his opinion since everyone was ignoring him anyway.

"Guards." Odin addressed the warriors around him. "Take the prisoner back to his cell."

Without hesitation, the guards encircled Loki. They roughly grabbed his upper arms.

"Be careful. Loki has been injured." Thor interrupted instinctively.

Odin expression changed.

"You defeated the Dark Elves." The Allfather said.

"Yes, but I could only strike the fatal blow because Loki had killed the Kurse. He got injured in the process of…saving me." Thor said the words, not sure how to feel about them. Did Loki really want to save him? Why?

"Are you injured?" Odin moved his searching eye towards Loki immediately.

Loki raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"Since when do you care?" He retorted.

"Answer my question." Odin said seriously. He lifted Gungnir and pointed it towards Loki's neck with a clear threat.

"Well yes, and as it seems by the position of your spear, I will be injured much more soon." Loki said, the sarcasm dripping from his silver tongue.

Odin didn't lower the spear.

"What happened?" He asked.

Loki didn't dare not to answer.

"The Kurse ran his sword through me." Loki said concisely.

"Do you need a healer?" Odin said as if he was talking about an unimportant treaty on one of his council meetings.

"Well, no, actually I don't. Considering that I am supposed to spend the rest of my days in the dungeons, what is the point of a healer." Loki smiled unhappily.

"Loki, I am warning you…" Odin began, the spear moving closer towards the skin of Loki's neck.

"Oh, so it is Loki now. Well, this little adventure of ours has brought a real progress. Thor may still refuse to acknowledge me as his brother, but you decided to call me by my name instead of a _prisoner_. Aren't we one big happy family."

Thor flinched slightly. He didn't think Loki would notice his refusal to call him his brother.

But mother has always said that Loki was very perceptive about others.

"Oh no. We aren't." Loki continued. "Because mother is death." The God of Mischief heard the words rolling of his tongue unable to stop them. Deep inside, he needed to talk about his mother with someone. Anyone. Even if it was the Allfather.

"Yes. Not that you would care. You have denounced your family." Odin said, his voice filled with sadness.

"I wouldn't care? Are you saying that I don't care about her?" Loki tried to move closer towards Odin's spear but the guards were holding him still. That only provoked him. "I love mother more than anything. I would do anything for…" Loki stopped himself. What was he doing?

Odin looked at Loki and the young god had a feeling that the Allfather was looking at him properly for the first time since they had their infamous conversation about his lineage.

"I love her too." Odin answered, and Loki's eyes involuntarily filled with tears.

"Thor." Odin put himself together and turned towards his older son. "You have acted against my clear command and hence you betrayed Asgard."

"Are you going to banish me again? This time for saving the lives of our warriors?" Thor rumbled.

"No." Odin said simply. He paused slightly, knowing that it will provoke his impulsive son. "Guards, escort Thor and Loki to Loki's old cell in the dungeons. Send a healer to take a look at Loki's injuries." Odin commanded and made a step towards Thor. The spear was finally at a safe distance from Loki's neck whose brilliant emerald eyes were wide open.

"I would have the Mjolnir, Thor." Odin extended his hand.

"Father, but…" Thor began but was interrupted.

"There is not but, Thor. You will accompany your brother to the dungeons and you will both stay there until I will have had a chance to think all this through." Odin's gaze didn't falter and upon its intensity, Thor gave Mjolnir up.

Odin turned and left without another word.

The princes left themselves be escorted to the dungeons, both of them surprised at the turn of the events.

When they entered Loki's old cell, the guards removed Loki's manacles and with a short note that a healer would be coming soon, they left.

Thor stared at Loki who was returning the favour.

For his whole stay in the dungeons, Loki desperately wished to have a company.

Now he was weighting whether a bad company was better than no company.

Unsurprisingly, Thor was the first one to break the eye contact. His eyes searched the mess that was Loki's cell. Books were lying on the ground with their pages torn. Amongst them, there were grapes all over the place. The furniture was scattered around. And the walls were dirty.

Thor's eyes opened wide while staring at the formerly white wall.

"Loki." The Thunderer said finally. "Is that mother?"


	3. Chapter 3

Loki diverted his gaze towards the painting on the wall that he had created before he embarked on the quest for revenge with Thor.

 _When the guard told him about his mother, he had too much spare energy that had to be released. But how do you release energy in a confined space of four walls?_

 _Loki let his magic run free._

 _And then he began drawing._

 _He remembered every little detail of his mother's face. Despite not being able to see her much since Thor's failed coronation, her beautiful face was placed safely in Loki's mind. Trying not to think about what he told her when he saw her in the dungeons, Loki focused all his energy on the blank wall that was slowly being covered by a rough sketch of the Queen's face._

 _When he was finished, Loki looked up to his drawing. It was quite an abstract painting but anyone who knew the Queen as well as her son would be able to recognise Frigga's features in it._

 _Drained, Loki sat onto his heels and let his forehead rest against the painting of his mother's face._

 _"I am sorry." The god whispered, and he felt his eyes filling with tears. Shamelessly, he let them create little, salty streams onto his cheeks._

 _Anyway, he was alone. The dungeons were completely empty. And they would remain so._

 _No one is going to visit him now._

 _Yet the isolation brought a benefit as well. Being alone, he could afford to let the tears spill out from his eyes without the danger of someone mocking the monster for crying. Shouldn't a Frost Giant's tears freeze onto his skin?_

 _When Loki's silent tears turned into a sob, the god lifted his head and shifted his position. He sat next to his painting, his back rested against the wall. His long legs were extended in front of him with his bare feet exposed. He must have stepped into the grapes._

 _With his eyes still red from crying, Loki released a long, desperate scream._

 _No one heard it._

"Such a surprised tone, brother." Loki replied mockingly. "Why is it that both you and Odin find it so difficult to believe that I love mother?"

"Because you don't care about anyone but you and your poisonous dreams." Thor replied without thinking.

"Hm." Loki smirked. "Me and my imagined slights. Was it me who brought his brother and his best friends into a pointless battle on Jotunheim because of my desperate dream to prove myself and my stupid hammer in a battle?"

"Loki, I am warning you." Thor rumbled and made a step towards his brother.

Loki didn't move.

"Ah, I see. So nothing has changed since the battle on Jotunheim. Still so eager to slay the Frost Giant monsters." Loki said with so much hatred in his voice that anyone paying attention to his words could only be left to wonder to whom the hatred was addressed.

Thor didn't react at first and continued walking towards Loki. When his brain finally processed the implications of Loki's words, he abruptly stopped his movements and gave the younger god a long look.

"You drew mother." Thor said quietly.

"Yes, Thor, I did." Loki involuntarily raised his voice. "When they told me what had happened, that's what I did. Is it truly so utterly unbelievable that a monster could love anyone?" Loki's voice broke by the end of the sentence. He felt tickling in his eyes.

Unwilling to let his brother see the tears in his emerald eyes, Loki loudly released his breath in anger and turned around.

The puzzled God of Thunder didn't dare to move closer to Loki. In fact, Thor didn't know what to do because he didn't know what he felt towards the god standing in front of him.

"A monster?" Thor reacted finally.

"Are the Frost Giants not monsters?" Loki whispered.

Thor was saved from having to reply by the echoing sound of approaching footsteps.

The crown prince turned his attention towards the group of people. Having released a long, calming breath while making sure that his face bore no signs of tears, Loki did the same.

The small delegation consisted of four guards and a healer. The healer was an elderly woman with a serious face that was indicating that she was perhaps too aware of her privileged position of one of Asgard's best healers.

"My prince." The healer addressed Thor. "We have heard of your glorious battle against the Dark Elves. You have our gratitude."

Not knowing how to react behind the glass wall, Thor only nodded. By a coincidence, he noticed Loki clenching his fists. For the first time in his life, Thor have realised that no matter which battles, the glory would always come to him only.

He wanted to say something to both the healer and Loki. It wasn't in Thor's nature to hold back when he felt in his heart that something should be said. But the healer spoke first.

"Let me in. You can stay here. I doubt he would try anything with Thor being in the cell with him."

The guards nodded. The wall disappeared, and the healer made her way inside the messy place.

"I am warning you. If you try…" The healer began but Loki was done listening to the empty threats.

"I understand." He replied coldly.

"Show me your wound."

Loki pulled his tunic up. Underneath it, there were bandages soaked in blood.

"Loki! You didn't tell me the bandages were not working. Have you been in pain?" Thor reacted instinctively.

"They were working, you oaf." Loki replied only.

"You let _him_ of all the gods to speak to you like that?" The healer gave Thor a look of disbelief.

Thor opened his mouth to reply only to realise that he didn't know what to say. Never had he noticed that people would always choose his side.

"Can you please attend to Loki's injuries?" Thor said finally.

"Of course." The healer replied with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

Loki was doing his best to keep his face free of any emotions, such as the humiliation he felt upon witnessing the little exchange between the healer and his brother. Such as it was usual in his childhood, Loki was treated as nothing, as the intruder in the royal family who refused to play by its rules.

The healer began unwrapping the bandages.

"That is an ugly wound." She reacted only before conjuring an oily substance. She applied the ointment without the care to be gentle. Loki noticed but said nothing while letting her do her task without flinching. When she was done, she put new, this time professional bandages around Loki's belly.

"The ointment should fully heal the damage. You should be alright in the matter of days." The healer said.

Loki acknowledged her words with a simple nod.

Upon understanding that she would receive no words of thanks, the healer left out a little breath of contempt and turned to leave.

"My prince." She addressed Thor when she was standing once again in front of the princes' cell.

Thor didn't react, and the group left the dungeons without further interaction.

An awkward silence consumed the little cell.

"Loki." Thor said finally. "Are you alright?"

"Yes."

Thor has always been fond of battles, but never of the inner ones such as the one he was leading inside his mind right now. Would it be a mistake to let his heart open towards the god he has always considered to be his brother? Or would he be once again reminded what a fool he was to fall for one of the schemes of the God of Mischief?

"Maybe we should talk about mother." Thor said finally.

Loki gave him a long stare in which Thor was surprised to see deep and sincere sadness.

"We should have talked about mother a long time ago." The dark-haired god replied.

Thor didn't say anything. He knew that Loki was right.

"I don't know about you, but I need to rest. Preferably before the Allfather finds his way here to bless us with one of those lovely little talks he is so fond of having. So if you excuse me, I am going to bed." Loki said and made his way towards the only part of the small space that remained intact.

"And where should I sleep?" Thor asked.

"That is none of my business." Loki replied, making sure that his voice portrayed how much he didn't care.

"Well it is because I am taking the bed." Thor said and moved to stand by the other side of the bed.

"This is my bed, brother." Loki said, his voice absurdly serious.

"This room is a mess. We should tidy it up before we go to sleep." Thor replied instead.

"They say that genius minds don't bother themselves with excessive tidiness." Loki smirked.

"Mother never agreed to this little theory of yours." Thor replied and to his surprise, Loki actually gave him a soft smile.

"That's only because she had maids while we were forced to clean our chambers on our own." Loki said, his voice slightly warmer than before.

"I never got that." Thor reacted, as if still annoyed by the memory.

"It was to teach us humility I think." Loki automatically explained the concept to Thor as he used to do.

"Well, look at us. I think it worked out great." Thor replied.

The brothers shared a look and both of them smiled enough to let the dimples in their cheeks show. The moment wouldn't last long, but for now it was there.

"Let's tidy this up later." Thor uttered finally.

Instead of a reply, Loki climbed onto the bed. He winced when lying down.

"Does the wound bother you?" Thor asked with concern.

"No, it's fine." Was the only reply of Loki who lay down onto his side so that only his back would be towards Thor.

With a soft sigh, Thor moved to pick up the torn books. One by one, the God of Thunder would try to unfold the pages to their original state and place them onto a neat pile. When all the books were placed where they were supposed to be, Thor observed all the smudges from the grapes.

Reminding himself that he was the God of Thunder and no cleaner, Thor left the dirty ground to be. He was tired and in the need of rest.

He contemplated shouting for guards to get him a bed when his sight found its way towards Loki. Unconsciously moving closer towards the mischievous god, Thor realised that by the time he finished sorting out the books, Loki had been fast asleep.

Thor observed Loki's slim figure lying on its side. His legs were slightly bent in his knees while his arms were rested right next to the god's face. Loki's face was curled up against his shoulder and Thor was unable to supress a smile. Loki would always sleep like this during their childhood. Thor remembered the little boy with dark hair and brilliant, mischievous eyes telling him that if he wanted to sleep in his bed, he had to stop complaining about his sleeping position. Thor would always reply that there was no place for him if Loki kept occupying the whole bed.

Loki would roll his eyes and go to sleep. After sulking for a while, Thor would climb to the bed as well and try to make himself comfortable.

More than once, Thor would wake up on the ground. When he opened his eyes, he would see his brother's mischievous look.

"What are you doing on the ground, brother?"

Then Loki would laugh while Thor would climb back to the bed.

The little Loki would not say anything, but Thor never failed to notice that after his fall from the bed, Loki would inconspicuously move closer towards his edge of the bed to give his brother more space. Thor would smile and use his brother's back as a pillow.

Thor beamed at the memory. Looking at his brother now, Thor realised that despite his attempts to stop thinking about Loki as his brother, there was still more than a glimmer of hope that his brother was still in there.

Armed with this hope inside his mind, Thor gently grabbed the blanket and careful not to wake Loki up, he covered his brother with the black cloth up to his chin.

Loki stirred and mumbled something incoherent, but otherwise gave no indication of waking up. Thor understood that the injury must have bothered him much more than he let on.

"I may be angry at you, but never doubt that I love you." Thor whispered, suddenly feeling too exhausted to even stand.

He made his way to the other side of the bed and very carefully lay onto it. Then, he took the extra part of the blanket that he had just covered Loki with and put it over himself as well. It was not a very comfortable position as Thor was on the verge of falling down from the bed, but the familiarity of it made him feel peaceful enough to fall asleep.

* * *

 **I really enjoyed reading your ideas when it came to Thor seeing Frigga. Thank you for the reviews. Keep it up ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

Loki kept his eyes closed. He hoped that it could help him pretend that he was still asleep and hence somehow trick his mind into going back into that blessed peace.

Yet as _the_ Trickster, he knew it wouldn't work.

The God of Mischief was also well aware of the reason that kept the sleep away.

The wound.

The wench of a healer said that he should be alright in the matter of days.

Great.

How many days did she mean?

A sharp pain shot through his belly yet again and Loki bit his lower lip to prevent a whimper from escaping his lips. In the end, his oaf of a brother was in the cell with him and so he couldn't allow himself to show weakness.

Thinking of Thor…

Loki's eyes burst wide open. For a while, his pupils were unable to adjust to the omnipresent bright light of the dungeons. He blinked a few times and then he saw the situation clearly.

His brother decided to use _his_ bed despite his clear instructions not to.

For a moment, Loki was consumed by an absurd rage. As usual, his rage meant that the magic energy was accumulating inside of him, ready to explode at any moment.

Which was a bad idea.

Once again, Loki was reminded of the wound in his belly. He forced himself to take deep, regular breaths in and out to take control of the pain.

Ignoring Thor for a moment, knowing very well that the Thunderer wasn't a light sleeper, Loki brought his knees up to try to subdue the piercing pain. At that moment he noticed another strange thing.

He was covered by a blanket despite being very sure that he fell asleep without it.

Could it have been Thor to put the blanket onto him?

The idea entered Loki's head almost immediately. His wit and intelligence were legendary, and his brain was always quick to analyse the situation and come up with the most probable solution. Considering that they were inside a cell, the only logical implication would be that Thor put the blanket onto him. Unless the blanket levitated onto him by its own will. Which was impossible.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Loki urged himself not to dwell on it. His carefully buried sentiment was screaming at him that if Thor bothered to put the blanket onto him, it was obvious that no matter what he said, he still cared about him.

When Loki opened his brilliant, emerald eyes, they were full of rage and disgust.

The disgust was aimed at himself.

How easy it is to break down his walls. He spent years trying to build a solid fence around his emotions so that he wouldn't be bothered by the lack of love, appreciation and attention that his co-called family and subjects were paying him. After the Midgardian fiasco, Loki swore to himself that these walls must be strengthened to a maximum security so that no one could ever catch a glimpse of his regret and longing for love.

He has already been degraded and humiliated enough. His living quarters have been changed from the prince's chambers to the dungeons. He was brought to Asgard in chains and a muzzle, forced to suffer the looks of contempt from anyone who had the luck to see the distrusted prince brought to his knees. Both figuratively and literally.

Upon those circumstances, it was quite a miracle that he still managed to keep the vestige of his old pride hidden underneath his skin. He swore to himself that they could not humiliate him unless he decides to let them humiliate him. He vowed not to show weakness, not to show care to those who would not show it to him and not to let his mind and actions be driven by how utterly and terrifyingly lonely he truly was.

And so quite obviously, it would be a weakness to allow himself to be comforted by the idea of his brother putting a blanket over him.

It would be presumptuous to assume that Thor did so because he still cared about him.

Maybe Thor was afraid that Loki might turn into a Frost Giant in his sleep and as Thor decided that it was underneath him to sleep on the ground, he might get burnt if he accidentally touched his brother in the sleep. Or the God of Thunder may have only been disgusted by having to watch the fake Aesir skin of his and so he decided to cover him by a blanket.

Yes, one of those must have been it.

Another ray of sharp pain hit Loki by surprise and this time he wasn't able to suppress the small moan that escaped his lips. Terrified, he eyed Thor and breath out in relief when the Thunderer was still deep asleep on his side, his arms rested casually in front of his face.

Loki wanted so much to reach to Thor, shake him awake and tell him that his belly was hurting.

He wanted someone to comfort him, to tell him that it will all be alright. Someone who would hold him through the pain because they cared.

He was so weak.

But why has he always tried to be strong?

It has never worked out for him anyway.

Loki's mind began working as a well-constructed clock. Thor was fast asleep and hence unaware of the situation around him. Loki understood that he was coming to his conclusion because he wanted to come up to that specific deduction, but as another hit of severe pain ran through him, he decided that he doesn't care anymore.

In the end, that's what everyone was saying.

That he didn't care.

Had they only known that the opposite was true.

Loki cared too much, much deeper than most people. That's what got him into this mess in the first place.

Slowly, almost insecurely, Loki carefully slithered his arm on the bedsheets away from his painful belly towards Thor's hands. He hesitated when his fingers gently brushed against his brother's. Loki caught his breath but Thor didn't seem to be waking up. Encouraged by this, Loki dared to let his palm and his fingers slip into Thor's.

As he expected, a shiver of energy ran through him when their palms intertwined. Both brothers had a lot of energy inside of them. Thor was full of the energy of lightning while Loki was full of magic.

"You're not trying to push me out of the bed, are you?" Thor mumbled, half-coherently and his hand tightened his grip on Loki's.

The God of Mischief froze. He observed Thor with his perceptive eyes and to his relief he understood that Thor was still asleep.

"No." He answered, half to Thor and half to himself.

"Good, brother." Thor replied satisfied and continued snoring quietly.

Loki understood that Thor's mind must have connected the idea of them sleeping in one bed with the many occasions when they would share a bed as children and Thor would often end up on the ground.

Loki didn't try to supress the smile forming on his lips by the memory.

And there was one more reason for that smile, even though this one Loki was not willing to admit to himself.

Even though unconsciously, Thor has called him a brother.

Another shot of pain erupted in Loki's stomach, but this time, he had his brother's hand to hold onto. He would be fine.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed the chapter in which the brothers encountered Odin to hear his judgement with a brief episode of Loki waking up in the middle of the night. Oh well...sometimes things don't go exactly according to plan. I blame Loki for being too...intriguing (in the best possible way of course).**

 **Odin in the next chapter ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

When Thor woke up, the first thing he noticed was the absence of fresh air. Before opening his eyes, he knew that something wasn't right. With his eyes still tightly shut, Thor's mind wandered a bit before realising the facts.

They have defeated Malekith.

Father put him and Loki to a cell in the dungeons.

Thor tiredly opened his eyes and frowned. He was absurdly enraged by the stale air. As a prince, he was used to sleeping in his chambers in the palace. He would always keep the doors to the balcony open. Sometimes, he would enjoy falling asleep while watching the long, elegant curtains dancing in the light breeze of the warm evening, knowing that behind them, the Asgard was majestically standing in all its beauty. Then, in the morning, Thor would go out to the balcony to enjoy the breath-taking view, taking advantage of the fresh, morning air running into his lungs.

Thor loved those calm mornings when he was able to peacefully enjoy the beauty of his realm.

That's why he was so annoyed by the confined dungeons full of stale air but with the lack of anything that could be even remotely classified as beautiful or interesting.

The Thunderer remembered the figure lying next to him.

 _Loki was always the one who was particularly perceptive of beautiful things. Once, when Thor's friends were out on a hunting trip that the princes were unable to participate in due to some royal commitments, Thor and Loki would have breakfast together. Usually, Thor would share meals with his friends while making a mess of the whole room by using spoons as cannons to effectively throw food on each other. It lasted until the moment when Frigga appeared in the doorway and with a calm, controlled voice said that they will tidy up all the mess themselves. She didn't bother to stay around to make sure they actually did it, her authority ensured it._

 _But that one time, when the older brother's friends were away, Thor came to the dining hall to realise that it was all empty. The little Thunderer didn't like the idea of eating all alone and so he turned back to find his brother. He went all the way into his chambers. He intended to climb to Loki's chambers through the balcony to wake him up to ask him if he would breakfast with him. Thor knew that his brother was a night owl, he enjoyed his long morning sleeps if he could. A thought suddenly ran through Thor's mind quickly as a lightning bolt: who did Loki usually eat breakfast with if not him and their friends?_

 _But his thoughts were quickly dispersed by noticing Loki's lean figure standing on the balcony, holding a cup of tea in his long fingers while enjoying the view over the golden city. The morning was quite chilly, and Thor could see that his brother was holding his cup with both hands to warm himself. There was steam coming out of the cup as the tea was clearly too hot to drink._

 _Thor smiled, grabbed a blanket from an armchair and quickly walked to the balcony. Untypically, Loki didn't see him coming. Typically, he seemed to be absorbed in his thoughts._

 _Loki didn't notice his brother's approach until there was a blanket over his shoulders. He blinked in surprise and swiftly turned his head. He was careful not to spill his tea though._

 _"Thor." He acknowledged his brother._

 _"Hello, brother." Thor smiled and Loki, who adjusted the blanket over his shoulders to keep in more warmth, gave him a questioning look. "Would you like to have a breakfast with me today?"_

 _Loki smiled._

Thor was brought back to the present by a squeeze of his hand and Loki mumbling something incoherent.

The God of Thunder was annoyed by spending one night in the ugly dungeons. How must have Loki been feeling, waking up here each day without anyone to talk to?

 _Thor remembered that he would talk with Loki during that breakfast. At one moment, Thor asked Loki what he enjoyed so much about magic._

 _"Magic is about creating beautiful things, brother."_

Loki has always enjoyed beautiful things. Suddenly, a cloud of sadness passed through Thor's mind upon imagining Loki waking up in the dungeons each day, without even being able to tell if it was morning or evening.

Shaking those thoughts from his mind as unproductive, Thor let his eyes adjust to his surroundings. That was when it hit him.

Loki was holding his hand.

The God of Mischief was curled up on his side of the bed, his knees brought up to his chest, his left hand hugging his belly. His right arm was stretched in front of him and his hand was resting in Thor's. What caught the big brother's attention the most, however, was Loki's facial expression. Despite being still asleep, Loki's face was showing signs of pain and his forehead was covered in drops of sweat.

Thor frowned. Was the wound bothering Loki that much?

Why wouldn't he say so? He should have woken him up. Together, they could call for the healers to do something.

But then…would Thor have believed him? Despite seeing the wound with his own eyes and knowing that the head healer tended to it herself, he still half-expected it all to be some new trick of the God of Mischief.

Now Thor knew that Loki was not faking any of this.

Thor wished he could help somehow but he didn't want to wake Loki up and so he only squeezed his hand a bit tighter to give him strength.

Being his typical self, he squeezed a bit too much and Loki opened his eyes.

Loki's green eyes were confused, and he blinked a few times to make sense of himself. Thor smiled. His brother was always against the idea of mornings and his slow waking ups were quite…adorable.

"Thor…what…agh." Loki rolled onto his back when he remembered the last day.

Then his sight travelled to his hand.

Damn.

He quickly moved the hand back to himself and glanced at Thor.

His brother wisely decided to ignore the incident.

"I told you to find your own bed." Loki said with his forearm covering his eyes.

"I could have called for the guards, but I didn't want to wake you up." Thor replied.

"So considerate." Loki mumbled, and Thor wondered how so much sarcasm could be put into a simple mumble.

"Does the wound bother you?" Thor asked instead.

"No." Loki replied in a tone suggesting that any discussion on this topic has ended.

"Let me rephrase that – how much is the wound bothering you?" Surrender was not in Thor's nature.

"It is not." Loki said, emphasising each word.

"You were holding onto it in your sleep." Thor said.

"It isn't your business, brother." Loki spit out the last word and stood up, his back towards his brother so that Thor couldn't see the pained expression on his face.

"Must you be so difficult, Loki?" Thor replied with annoyance and got up as well.

"I am not being difficult."

"Loki, you must answer me. Is it…" But Thor was interrupted.

"No, brother, I don't have to do anything. I am to spend my lifetime here and your presence is a mere, short-term inconvenience. So do me a favour and ignore me for the next five minutes until the Allfather lets you out with a scolding while he leaves me to rot. So no, I don't have to do anything you say." Loki said, facing the energy field that separated their cell from the rest of the dungeons

"I am trying to be considerate, Loki. Why do you have to push me away?" Thor said, raising his voice.

"I am pushing you away?" Loki replied with astonishment and quickly turned around. "You left me in this very cell and never bothered to visit. You, after thinking me dead, welcomed me with the words _where is the Tesseract_. So tell me, brother, who was the one to push the other away?" Loki said with venom.

"You are twisting the truth as you always do. Your tongue is full of poison." Thor attacked.

"Yes, me and my imagined slights always twisting the truth." Loki smirked.

"Must you dwell on everything I said? I am trying to help you now." Thor screamed.

"Why only now, Thor? Is it because of mother? Because you feel guilty that she wouldn't want this?"

"Keep mother out of this, Loki!" Thor yelled and approached Loki who made a step back towards the energy field.

"Get away from me, Thor. Or I swear I will find my way out of here and hunt your little mortal friends down. Every single one of them." Loki said carefully.

"Such empty threats." Thor smiled unhappily.

"I am not the one who started with the empty threats, am I? If you betray me, I will kill you." Loki mimicked Thor's deep voice.

"Ah, so you agree that it was an empty threat." Thor smiled victoriously.

Loki's lips twisted into a frown.

"You want to try me?" He said with a smirk.

And Thor has had enough. All he tried to do was to help Loki who did nothing but insult him since he woke up.

"Frost Giants always talk big." Thor replied.

Loki's eyes blinked in horror. They filled themselves with such deep pain and betrayal that Thor unconsciously took a step back.

"I see." Loki said only, his voice completely emotionless.

He turned around and screamed.

"Guards!"

That brought Thor back from the shock that his own words have caused him. It was just a slip and he knew it. Loki was cornered, he had nowhere to run and so he took refuge in his oldest weapon: his silver tongue. Thor knew that and he should have been ready. He shouldn't have been caught in this battle of wits that he was destined to lose. Why was Loki pushing him away though? At one moment, Loki seemed to be longing for a reconciliation. Then, within seconds, he seemed to be insistent that they will never be brothers again. Why was he so complicated? And idea crossed Thor's mind. What if Loki was afraid to care?

"Loki…" Thor began. He would apologize but Loki didn't let him finish.

"Shut up." The Trickster said only.

"What is it?" The approaching guards questioned.

"I request my brother to be moved to a different cell." Loki said, his voice still so unnervingly controlled.

"Is he still his brother? I thought the Allfather denounced him." The guard turned towards his colleague with an amused expression.

But Loki was done. All he now cared about was to get away from Thor as quickly as possible. Before he could do anything stupid such as…cry. He has cried in front of Thor enough since his failed coronation. He would not do it again.

"I request Thor to be moved to a different cell." Loki repeated, ignoring their previous words.

"You are in no position to request anything. Now be quiet." The guard said only.

"The Allfather sentenced me to a confinement in solitude." Loki replied.

"And then he said to put the crown prince to a cell with you. These are his final words." The guard said and with a nod to his colleague they left.

Loki stared after them with empty eyes.

"Loki, I didn't mean…" Thor began.

"No, Thor, you made yourself crystal clear. I am leaving." Loki said and braced himself. He brought both hands in front of himself and quickly, as if he didn't want to give himself any time to change his mind, he pushed the energy barrier.

He knew what would happen.

The barrier protested and began burning his hands.

It hurt but not as much as being in the room with his brother.

 _Frost Giants always talk big._

"Loki, stop!" Thor screamed alarmed.

But he wouldn't. Maybe if he pushed enough, the barrier would break. He was just never brave enough to keep pushing.

Thor made a step towards Loki, but his brother's words have stopped him.

"Don't you dare, Thor." Loki hissed in pain. The palms of his hands were turning from red to ugly black. He was burning his flash.

"You are hurting yourself. You must step back." Thor said insistently.

"Stop commanding me, Thor!" Loki yelled in frustration.

"Brother, please. I didn't mean it." Thor said panicking.

"No, Thor. I did not mean it. But you did." Loki said with his eyes covering with tears.

Thor's expression twisted in sadness and without further persuasion he jumped onto Loki. The collision interrupted Loki's contact with the barrier and both brothers ended up on the ground. Loki tried to get up to go back to the energy field, but Thor pinned his arms down while sitting onto his legs to leave him immobile. He wouldn't let his little brother hurt himself anymore.

"Get off me, Thor!" Loki screamed and twisted. But it was in vain; Thor's grip was made of steel and he was not letting go.

"No, Loki. I won't let you go. Not anymore." Thor said gently.

Loki tried to push himself up by pressing his palms onto the ground to lift himself up but screamed when the burnt flesh touched the floor. The shock of the moment was gone and the pain was kicking in. And his stomach…

And then he got the idea.

Loki closed his eyes in concentration.

Thor briefly wondered what he was doing.

And then Thor's hands were on fire.

Without thinking, he let go of Loki and quickly stood up. Thor stared at his hands which were burnt as badly as his brother's.

Thor looked at Loki.

His brother was blue. He has turned into his Frost Giant form.

Thor has never seen his brother like that. He did not look like the Frost Giants that Thor knew. His height was still the same and his skin colour was more blue in comparison with the big monsters Thor knew. But more importantly….it was still Loki. Even though his brother was looking at him with piercing red eyes, it was still him. And what Thor found himself being bothered by the most was the hatred he saw inside them, not their colour.

Meanwhile, Loki pushed himself onto his feet as well. He was facing Thor with his hands curled up into fists despite the pain it was causing him.

"Enough." An unyielding voice echoed through the dungeons and both brothers instantly turned their heads.

"Father. How long have you been…" Thor began but Odin silenced him with a single look.

Then Odin turned his sight towards Loki. He lifted Gungnir.

Loki chuckled.

"Has seeing me in my true form finally gave you the courage to finish me off, Allfather? In the end, mother isn't here anymore to forbid it. Go ahead." Loki said with a strange mix of contempt and resignation.

Odin was actually caught off guard for a moment. But his grip on the Gungnir didn't falter.

"Do you like this form, Loki? Or did you change into it because of Thor's words?" Odin said.

One corner of Loki's mouth went up in an unhappy confession. He blinked a few times and then stared on the ground.

"That's what I thought." Odin replied and activated the Gungnir's power. Immediately, a ray of light shone through the dungeons and Loki was back to his Aesir form.

"Guards." Odin said quietly but the guards were at his feet immediately as if they were just puppets and Odin has pulled the strings.

"Escort my sons to the healing chambers and then straight to me." He said and was gone without anyone could protest.

The guards went towards the princes' cell.

My sons? Loki wondered. He must have heard incorrectly. Such words could not have been aimed at him…a Frost Giant.

* * *

 **A review is always appreciated ;) Let me know what you think about Odin...is he the good or bad guy here? And Thor's words...can Loki ever forgive them?**


	6. Chapter 6

Loki and Thor were both staring at their hands.

All four godly hands had been thoroughly treated and then they were carefully bandaged. Loki was grateful that there were different healers this time; the head healer Loki had the misfortune of meeting the previous day did not bother herself with such basic duties such as serving in the healing chambers. She was specialised at treating high-born patients, and hence she was sent to treat the God of Mischief, still somewhat a prince of Asgard. Now, however, the princes' injuries happened all of a sudden and so she was not present. Instead, a handful of young healers dealt with the burns marking the brothers' hands.

To the younger brother's relief, they did not comment anything and simply did their job. To Loki's even bigger relief, neither Thor said anything on their journey from the dungeons. After Odin had left, the guards took them out and led them in the direction of healing chambers. They did not bother to put manacles on either of them; they were probably afraid that the manacles may cause further damage on the princes' burnt hands.

Loki briefly wondered why, in his case obviously, they would care, but soon he found himself occupied with more pressing thoughts.

Thor has called him a Frost Giant. He has, now admittedly stupidly, burnt his hands so much that they were almost black and the pain was most unwelcome and, on top of this, they were to meet the Allfather soon.

Loki hasn't been awake for more than an hour and his day was already going great.

How typical.

Now, with their hands tended to and with a reassurance that thanks to their godly nature, they will fully heal in the matter of days, Odin was on Loki's mind more than ever.

"You have to apply the ointment twice a day as your burn is more serious because it was caused by a Frost Giant's touch. Will you remember that?" One of the young healers asked Thor and Loki was abruptly brought out of his thoughts.

"Yes." Thor answered simply without looking at his brother.

Loki thanked the Norns that the healer did not bother to ask how on Earth did Thor manage to get both of his hands burnt by a Frost Giant. On Asgard.

"We look like invalids." Thor said after a moment and Loki looked up surprised. Had he not known his brother to be incapable of empathy and hence any attempt to lighten the mood, he would have thought that Thor was trying to joke to ease the tension that built up in Loki's shoulders because of the Frost Giant remark.

"Indeed." It was Loki's only reaction because, quite simply, they did. With both their hands bandaged into what looked almost like a snowball, they made quite a funny sight.

"Let's go meet father." Thor said seriously and Loki frowned.

"Easy for you to say." The raven-haired god mumbled inaudibly so that Thor wouldn't hear him.

The rest of the journey disappeared in a strange blur to Loki and too soon he found himself standing in front of the doors leading to the king's chambers. That did surprise Loki; he thought that Odin would be condemning him and scolding Thor in the Great Hall.

A guard pushed the doors opened and beckoned to the brothers to enter. They did so and Loki swallowed hard when he heard the heavy doors shut behind them.

Odin's chambers were vast and just as Loki remembered them. There was a huge, wooden desk in the middle. In front of the majestic table, there were two simple chairs. Behind it, there was no wall as there was an entrance to a huge terrace. The terrace was separated from the chambers by simple, golden curtains. It was these curtains that now moved in a swift dance to let in Odin, the Allfather.

Without giving any recognition to the two anticipating figures in front of him, Odin went towards his table and seated himself in the equally majestic armchair. Then, he placed Gungnir on the table.

"Sit." Odin said simply after a moment of silence. His tone was dry and simple, but there was no question that it was an order.

Both brothers followed Odin's command and seated themselves in the chairs.

Loki was already confused by the arrangements. He fully expected to be brought into the Hall in chains. This was reminding him more of the occasions when he and Thor misbehaved when they were younger and Odin took them into his chambers to punish them in private. Loki was not fond of those memories. The Allfather would say that he carried out their punishments here so that they could deal with the matters as a father and sons, not as the king and princes, but that didn't make the beating any less severe.

"It was stupid to burn your hands like this." Odin said finally.

Both brothers opened their mouth to reply but closed it abruptly when they realised that they didn't know on whom the question was aimed.

Loki was staring down at his bandaged hands. He did not dare to look at the Allfather now. His brilliant, emerald eyes were cast carefully away. The last time he was to hear Odin's judgement, Loki mustered the courage to look defiantly up. It was then when Odin told him that Frigga was the only reason he was still alive. Now, Frigga was gone. As much as he hated the dungeons, Loki couldn't help himself but to feel dreadful anticipation of what Odin's intentions might be.

"Loki. Look at me." Odin said after a moment when he understood that his younger son was not to look up to his eye willingly.

Loki obeyed. He did not hesitate to do so; Odin was suspicious that his pride forced his sight up quite quickly, but he was unable to fully hide the main emotion in them.

Fear.

"How is the wound in your belly, Loki?" Odin questioned. His tone didn't betray any possible intentions.

"It is better." Loki replied carefully.

Odin nodded.

Then he sighed.

"This is not easier for me than for you." Odin announced quietly, addressing both of his sons.

"I highly doubt that." Loki hissed before he could stop himself.

Odin only gave him a stern look.

"Thor, you went against my clear command and in doing so you turned my most trusted warriors against me. You smuggled your brother, a criminal, out of prison and then left Asgard with him." Odin pronounced slowly. Loki and Thor's eyes were on him. "Your mother has once told me that true king admits his faults." Odin continued and paused when he saw Loki flinch. "She was right. My mind was not clear and indeed you saved Asgard from a certain defeat. All that while you managed to avenge your mother. I am proud of what you accomplished, my sons."

Loki blinked a few times.

He must have heard incorrectly.

"That does not mean, Loki, that your crimes are forgotten." Odin continued while watching his younger son's demeanour carefully. "And I must admit that I would not have been speaking like this had I not received this." Odin opened one of the drawers of his table and took out a parchment. Carefully, he put the letter on the table.

"That's mother's handwriting." Loki noticed immediately. Then he bit his lower lip; he didn't intend to speak.

"It is indeed." Odin commented and took the letter. He began reading.

 _Dear husband,_

 _If you are reading this, it means that I have found my place in Valhalla. Do not mourn but rejoice for our time together has been most fruitful._

 _In these unsafe times, I am finding myself unable to continue without leaving this letter for you in case something happened to me. To ease my heart, allow me to share what has been bothering me._

 _As you know, I heard Loki's trial and hence you know that I am aware that you told him that he was still alive only because of my wish. I never brought this up, but now I beg you. I do not know whether you meant your words or not, but I beseech you not to close your heart in regards to our younger son. He may be lost, but what has been lost can be found again._

 _My dear, we have been blessed by two most beautiful moments. The first was when you placed a new-born Thor into my arms. I told you that he had your eyes, remember? The second was when you placed little Loki into my open arms. Immediately, he brought his little palm around my thumb._

 _Our sons have been such joy to me in the past centuries and it pains me to the bottom of my heart to see our family so broken now. I know that you always have the good of Asgard at the utmost importance but let me tell you this. Neither of our sons can truly flourish without the other. They are two sides of the same coin. If one was lost to us, the damage would be irreparable._

 _Mercy, shown to those who deserve it, is one of the king's most important virtues._

 _Always yours,_

 _Frigga_

 _P.S. Loki's tongue may be full of evil lies, but his heart is pure._

Odin finished reading and looked up at his sons. Everyone may be saying that Thor and Loki were nothing alike, but now their expression was the same.

Utter surprise and confusion.

"Did…did mother…" Thor began but could not continue.

"The letter appeared in my hand the moment I returned from her funeral. I believe she was distressed about the fate that would fall on your brother should she leave for Valhalla." Odin answered Thor's unspoken question.

Loki didn't say anything. He couldn't even if he wanted to.

"Loki." Odin said, more sternly than he intended, to get the god's full attention.

Meanwhile, the raven-haired god was losing his fight to keep his beautiful eyes free of any unwelcome tears.

"I didn't see it." Loki whispered after a moment. He was looking Odin right into the eye. When he understood that Odin did not get him, he continued. "She is still fighting for me, even though she is not here anymore, and I did not even tell her a proper goodbye." He finished, a single tear making its way down his cheek.

"You mean the Queen's funeral." Odin understood finally.

"I mean…what I mean…" Loki could not find the right words. He chuckled unhappily. What good was his silver tongue to him now?

"I should have been there." He whispered finally.

There was silence before Odin spoke again.

"Thor, as I implied already, you have acted against my command but in doing so you saved our realm and its people. You proved yourself of being able to question the commands when they seem wrong. You are, hence, pronounced innocent of any crime."

"Thank you, father." Thor replied, relieved.

"Loki." Odin began but stopped for a moment. "Loki. Your crimes are great and I found myself angered by the Queen's words. I was furious that she would think so highly of you; still, even after you have denounced your family." Odin said and looked at Loki. He could see that Loki was tense and fearful even though he was trying to hide it. "I could not bring myself to go against the Queen's wishes and order your execution for an escape from your cell and therefore I only intended to return you to your well-deserved place in the dungeons. However, my plans have changed."

Loki's breath caught up in his throat.

"When I went to meet you and Thor upon your return to Asgard, you admitted to loving your mother. Those words caught me completely off guard and more so because I understood them to be genuine. Since then, I have been rereading your mother's letter over and over again, contemplating whether she could have been right. I wish she was. You did avenge her death and for that I am grateful to you. And so I am willing to give you a chance that you were deprived of the last time we met like this."

"And what should that be?" Loki whispered.

"I will give you a chance to prove yourself deserving of that mercy your mother believes you worthy of. I will question you and upon your answers I will decide your fate."

Loki was staring disbelievingly at the Allfather.

"I am the God of Lies. You do not believe me." Loki countered.

"That is true." Odin said and without a warning he swiftly grabbed Gungnir. He pointed it at Loki and within a moment, a ray of lighting emerged from the ancient weapon and Loki found himself bound in a spell he knew too well.

"Father, what did you do?" Thor asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

"From now on, Loki will find himself incapable of telling lies. It is the only way to ensure that your brother is not playing a trick on us. Shall we begin?"

"No. NO! You can't do this. You have no right to do this. Lift the spell. NOW." Loki was shaking with rage.

"If I do so, you will return to the dungeons to spend the rest of your days there. Do you truly wish that?" Odin questioned calmly.

 _Yes. If the alternative was to be fully exposed in front of anyone, deprived of his biggest weapon then, yes, it was what he wished._

"No." Loki found himself saying against his will.

Thor smiled. "See, brother, the spell is protecting you against yourself."

"Since when do you call me your brother, you stupid oaf?" Loki spit.

"Loki! Language!" Odin scolded him as if he was just a small child.

"The Allfather, I cannot talk about the Void or Midgard. Please, don't make me." Loki was almost begging now.

"Why do you still refuse to acknowledge me as your father, Loki?" Odin asked before he thought it through. He wanted to take the question back but it was too late; Loki was already forced by the spell to give the whole truth.

"You said that it was my birthright to die cast out onto a frozen rock. You have never acted as my father. Hence you are not." Loki said against his will.

"You truly believe this, don't you?" Odin reacted instinctively.

"Yes."

"I will not ask you about Void nor Midgard. I do know what happened and why it happened. I know the level of your willing involvement in that affair. I have always known." Odin said. Loki's mouth opened wide and Thor was clearly confused.

"I do not intend to look into the past, Loki, but into the future. Have you been telling the truth when you said that you love your mother?"

"Yes."

"What do you think about this letter she sent?"

"I am touched by her concern but I do not deserve her affection." Loki said and blushed. How he wished Thor not to be there.

"Why did you agree to go after the Dark Elves with Thor? Did you do it in order to escape?"

"Partly. I hoped to avenge mother and find a way to escape after that."

"Do you hate your brother?"

"No."

"I was observing you in that cell. Why do you keep antagonising Thor then?"

"Every time I cared about someone, I got hurt. It's self-protection." Loki said, desperate to at least keep his answers as concise as possible.

"Were I to pardon the rest of your sentence, what would you do with your newfound freedom?"

"I don't know."

"Loki, answer the question."

"I don't know."

"Explain."

"I have nowhere to go. I don't belong anywhere. I am a son of no one. I don't know what my purpose is. I wouldn't know what do to."

"Would you try to bring doom to any of the realms?"

"I don't think so."

"Do you want to be the king of Asgard?"

"I don't know."

"Explain."

"I want a chance to prove myself. I have always wanted to be Thor's equal. I want Asgard to have a wise king and I am not sure if me or Thor are capable of that. I wish I would be worthy of the throne but I don't think I am."

"Do you think that Thor is worthy of it?"

"No."

"Do you think that you and Thor could find your way back to each other?"

"I hope so."

"Enough." Odin said and with a flick of his hands he removed the spell from Loki.

There was a very long silence.

"Brother, I had no idea…" Thor began but Loki interrupted him.

"Don't."

Thor didn't.

When Odin finally spoke, he did so with a lighter tone that before.

"It seems that your mother has been right. I should not be so surprised; she usually was. Thereby I alter your sentence, Loki Odinson. You are to be freed from the dungeons and returned to your position as the prince of Asgard."

Loki's eyes were opened wide. Surely this couldn't be true. It was not possible. There was no hope for monsters like him.

"But I must admit that I do not feel confident enough to let you walk the grounds unsupervised. For your own safety as well as the safety of the others."

"What will you do?" Loki found himself saying with more confidence.

"You and your brother need to learn to respect each other. As your mother said, neither of you see the whole picture and I believe it would be best for Asgard if, when the time comes, you could rule side by side. But to be able to do that, you have an awfully long way to go. Thor, I may have decided to overlook your disrespect, but you too need a lesson. And so I have decided to place a spell on the both of you that will prevent you from moving away from each other further than three metres. In that way, you will be forced to interact with each other and hopefully, you can find peace. The spell has already been placed and so both of you are free to leave."

* * *

 **To make it clear, this is not and will not be slash.**

 **Ok so I am writing Odin as kind of the good guy which is actually quite strange because I truly hate him. But I guess that I wanted to make Thor different from the perfect, ready-to-get-his-brother-back-no-matter-what version and so I decided to go about it like this.**

 **Having said that, whose chambers will the princes choose? Thor or Loki's? I have a feeling that the decision may not be reached smoothly...**


	7. Chapter 7

Loki and Thor were walking side by side through the shiny yet cold halls of the palace.

Yes, it may not have been a voluntary arrangement; Loki had tried to put as much distance as possible between himself and his brother upon leaving the king's chambers, but he found himself being abruptly stopped by an invisible barrier. The encounter with the force shield was most uncomfortable; Loki tried hitting the wall with his bandaged hand to no effect but a throbbing pain in his palm.

"Are you trying to hurt yourself on purpose?" Thor asked after watching Loki hitting the barrier with frustration. When his brother didn't answer, Thor gave a sigh and stepped closer to him. Immediately, the invisible shield shifted, and Loki's hand hit only air.

"Brother?" Thor asked, unsure.

Loki's eyes filled with tears. Yet they were not tears of sadness nor pain coming from his abused hand. They were tears of pure anger.

"What, brother?" Loki spit the last word, reminding Thor of his unwillingness to acknowledge him as such.

"I asked if you were hurting yourself on purpose." Thor repeated softly.

Loki snorted. "Of course not." But he wasn't so sure. It would be enough to hit the barrier once to understand that Odin's magic was strong and fully functioning. Why did he keep hitting it? He was not Thor, he could control his rage.

Could he?

Maybe Frost Giants deserve pain.

"Are you coming?" Loki said finally. Thor began walking.

Without saying anything, both brothers were automatically headed in the same direction of their chambers. Loki was thinking about Odin's words when they were exiting his chambers.

 _I want to see both of you after dinner in front of the Queen's chambers._

He tried not to show that Odin managed to catch his attention, but he was certainly curious and a little bit terrified of the reason why Odin might want to speak to them there of all places.

The halls of the palace seemed endless but finally, the princes found themselves standing in front of their chambers. Frankly speaking, Loki was strangely surprised that they left his chamber as it was before his downfall instead of igniting it to set an example.

They both stepped towards their own door, only to be stopped after a moment of realisation that this was not going to function.

"I don't want to share chambers with you." Thor said angrily.

"Likewise." Loki sneered.

There was a moment of inactivity on both sides.

"Agh. This. Is. So. Stupid." Thor said slowly.

Loki was getting tired of everything.

"Clearly, we have to share chambers now. So come, Thor." He said and pointed to the door leading to his old chambers.

"Absolutely not. If we have to share chambers, we are staying in mine." Thor replied, as stubborn as his younger brother.

"I don't think so." Loki reacted.

Thor opened his mouth to retort something without thinking but stopped himself in the last moment. Instead, he said: "Loki. We must talk about what you said in father's chambers."

"No, we don't."

"Yes, we do. You said you wanted us to reconcile. I want the same thing, but I have given up the hope that you might want it too long ago."

"I didn't say that by my free will." Loki protested.

"Exactly. That's what hit me. Had you said it in different circumstances, I would most likely have not believed you." Thor replied.

"Wow. That hurt." Loki said mockingly. Only it did hurt hearing Thor saying those words. But he would not show it.

"We will move nowhere unless we try to communicate as civilised beings, princes of the most powerful realm within the Nine Realms." Thor tried to reason with Loki.

"Agreed. Can we do it inside?" And Loki's green irises moved in the direction of his chamber.

"As it is your fault that we found ourselves bound in this spell, I think to be only fair to use my chambers." Thor was not going to surrender.

"My fault?" Loki echoed.

"If it was not for your madness on Midgard, father would not…"

"Yes, got it, Thor. Everything is my fault, as always. But considering that I spent the last Norns know how long in the dungeons, you could show a little empathy and understand why I wish to stay in my chambers." Loki was not willing to give up either. The idea of seeing his room after all that time seemed so appealing to him.

"It was your actions that rightfully brought you to the dungeons." Thor protested.

"My actions?" Loki almost screamed. "Is that what you told mother? Loki is where he was always supposed to be. A little prisoner of war locked away safely until the appropriate time…"

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" Thor rumbled while walking closer to Loki. Now the brothers were standing face to face.

"How should I know it? Oh yes, sorry. I forgot. Another of my imagined slights, is it? Is it?" Loki hissed.

"Loki, shut up and be reasonable." Thor whispered threateningly.

"Maybe I should pay a visit to your little plaything. What do you think she would say if I told her about your little adventure in Jotunheim? About…"

Loki knew he was walking thin ice, but he didn't expect Thor to actually do it.

Thor hit him.

He punched his cheek, causing Loki to lose balance and fall unceremoniously onto the ground. He lifted his gaze in genuine surprise to see Thor hovering over him and bringing his arms down to reach him. Without thinking, he tried to move away from the Thunderer's anger by putting his arms behind him and slithering away.

That stopped Thor's movement. His face was blank for a second.

"Damn." The older brother said finally.

At that moment Loki realised that he was still on the ground, technically beneath Thor, which was utterly unacceptable and so he tried to stand up. Not an easy task with a wound in your belly that was beginning to show itself again and both hands bandaged.

Out of blue, he felt Thor's touch on his upper arm. Loki tensed but his brother only brought his own bandaged hand underneath Loki's arm to help him stand.

Once they were eye to eye, the brothers were just staring at each other.

"Let's take your chambers." Thor said quietly after a moment.

"Is that your way of saying sorry?" Loki mocked but took a step back when Thor's eyes flashed with rage.

Thor noticed.

"Are you afraid of me, Loki?" Thor questioned genuinely, trying to clear his own confusion. He had these thoughts already on Svartalfheim and they created a very uncomfortable weight in his mind.

"Of course, not." Loki retorted with disbelief. "But you just hit me so I…" Wait, why was he taking the step back? Was he actually afraid of Thor hitting him again? Why would he be? He's been hit enough in his life to fear this little inconvenience.

"It was my way of saying sorry." Thor all but whispered. "I will not lose my temper again. I will not hit you again."

"Who is the liar now, hm?" Loki replied unhappily.

Thor didn't say anything. The chambers were waiting for them.

The older prince let his brother come to his door.

Touching the door handle, Loki half expected it to stay locked, to prompt an evil laugh of the Allfather to erupt behind them. You thought you could escape the dungeons, trickster? So pathetic. So full of hope.

But none of that happened.

Instead, the doors opened without making any sound, just as Loki remembered them.

He hated to be feeling so insecure just because he was stepping into his own chambers, but he couldn't help himself. Briefly, he wondered for how long he will be able to keep his façade on now when he had to do it nonstop. But all his thoughts ceased when he stepped inside.

At that moment, there were no daunting dungeons underneath him, no Odin scheming some plans for him to fail, no annoying brother right behind him.

There was only the room that Loki never hoped to see again.

The chambers were spacious, as would be expected of prince's private rooms. Everything was as Loki remembered it.

The floor was covered by thick, dark brown carpets. Not thinking about what he was doing, Loki kneeled and brought his right forearm onto the carpet. It was warm, fluffy and soothing. Just as he remembered it. Unconsciously, he smiled.

When he stood back up, he observed that his walls were still full of the things he collected through the years. There was a framed, yellowish parchment with ruins written in smooth, black ink that Loki immediately recognised to be the first spell that he has ever learnt. He was so little then, he remembered Frigga telling him that he had talent and so if he wished, she can teach him magic in addition to the lectures with the tutor he had to attend with his brother. Loki was over the moon and even more when his mother showed him the first spell they would learn.

She created her hairstreak butterflies effortlessly and Loki observed in awe all the butterflies flying around them in the garden, displaying all the beautiful colours of the world before making their way out of the palace to the freedom of the forest.

Frigga would patiently explain to him all the careful hand gestures that he had to precisely follow to be able to conjure his own butterfly. She didn't forget to mention that magic was a difficult art and mastering it took practice. He must not be disappointed if the first few attempts do not work.

Yet it was not necessary.

With a flick of his fingers, a green hairstreak appeared on the top of the fingertip of Loki's little finger. It quickly fluttered its wings and flew away.

Loki proudly grinned at his mum.

Later that evening, he would sneak out into the library. He brought a book of spells into his chambers, sat onto his bed and focused.

Next morning, Frigga found a green narcissus on her table.

Now, Loki found himself standing in front of the parchment. His magic has brought him so much pain, taunts and disappointment over the years. But he could understand that it was not its fault. It made him different, but not in the bad way. It made him special. He knew that they were all jealous of him. It took him one look into the spell book to master a complicated charm while Thor and his friends could not do a spell for beginners properly even after a whole lecture of trying.

Loki was sick of himself to his core. He did not understand himself and he hated what he could become. But since the guard told him about the Queen in the dungeons and he drew the desperate sketch onto the wall, he promised himself one thing.

Never again would he feel ashamed because of his magic.

It was not his fault to be better at it than others and it was their weakness to mock him for it.

He owed it to Frigga.

By now, Loki has left the need for hand gestures to perform magic and so even now, with his hands bandaged, it didn't take long and soon there were a few butterflies flying around him.

And Loki remembered. He remembered why he loved magic so much. It was about creating beautiful things, about making the world a better, more colourful place on the days when all light seemed to be sucked out. It was not meant for destruction.

Loki hunched his shoulders.

Soon, he heard soft footsteps and then a hand was clumsily put onto his shoulder.

"Should we let them out? But…it's too far away." Thor said.

Loki understood.

He nodded and both brothers moved to the windows. Loki stopped and only watched as Thor pushed away the dark green curtains to open the window. A light breeze filled the room and attracted the butterflies' attention.

Thor and Loki observed as one by one, the hairstreaks flew through the window towards their freedom.

And Loki shifted his attention back to his room. He let his feet carry him towards the wall which was covered by shelves with all his books. There were all types that Loki could find; there were spell books, old and new. Those were his favourite. Then there were all sorts of stories, full of legendary heroes, that he would read, imagining himself to be one of them, swinging his mighty weapon onto his enemies.

In front of the library there stood a huge, mahogany table. Loki ran his bandaged hand across the surface he remembered to be smooth. Loki loved the wood; he loved the safety it brought and the smell that never really went away.

There was an open book on the desk and Loki curiously eyed it. He recognised the spell immediately. It was the spell for shielding objects or beings against the gate-keeper's sight. It was the one Loki made certain to master before he dared to camouflage the Frost Giants into Asgard to ruin his brother's big day. The raven-haired god found it incredible that the book was still lying there on the table. It seemed so strangely unthreatening, just some old parchments bound together in a leather cover. But it stood for so much more. It was the beginning of the end. Without needing to think it over, Loki made it vanish. He didn't need a reminder that since the failed coronation, he didn't have time to actually go back into his chambers. It all went so fast, so out of control.

The dining hall where he knew he would find Thor. Jotunheim. Library to check his suspicions. The Vault. The Allfather's resting room. The Great Hall. And then the fall.

He never got a chance to come back here. To think anything over.

Not willing to dive more into the painful memories, Loki turned around to observe the most majestic feature of his chambers. The king-sized bed.

His bed was huge and served as a playground and later as a sanctuary for reading. It was wooden as the rest of the furniture in the room. It was neatly made with calming, dark green sheets. Loki fought the urge to dive into the kingdom of the soft pillows and blankets and just sleep.

He had one more thing to rediscover.

Slowly, he brought his gaze up to be welcomed by the beautiful sight. Above his bed, there was no ceiling. Instead, there was a window through which he could see the blue skies with a few clouds passing by. Loki was already looking forward to the evening, when he would be able to watch the beauty of the whole universe unfolding before his eyes, and he would see all those shining stars resting on their rightful places.

"You missed this." Thor said quietly behind him.

"Yes." Loki said simply. He fought back the uneasiness caused by the implication of Thor's words. The implication that it was so unlikely for a monster like him to miss the beauty of his old rooms, the capability of being able to appreciate the little things.

Maybe he truly lost those.

He didn't know.

But for the first time in ages, he wanted to find it again. Finally, he had something to look forward to. The night skies behind his window were only a few hours away and nothing was going to take those away from him.

And so Loki wouldn't let this moments be destroyed by Thor's comment. In a way, he understood that Thor did not say it with the intentions of conveying the implications that Loki found. Thor never did. And so Loki decided not to blame him for them this time. In the end, remembering the havoc he caused on Midgard with the help of his magic, Loki was hit with guilt of understanding why Thor could not trust him. Odin said he knew why. Loki didn't know how much he truly did know but Odin being Odin, it was probably enough to give Loki a bit of sympathy.

But Thor didn't know. He knew nothing.

"Loki?" He heard his brother's voice, as if uncertain to bring him back from his ruminations.

"Yes, Thor?"

"I said…well...now that we are forced to share this space, I asked if I can…you know…"

"You may use anything, Thor. There is no way around it." Loki answered the unspoken question. "But if you destroy anything…" The threat was hanging in the air.

"Thank you." Thor replied.

"Thank you for agreeing to stay in my room."

Maybe they could be civil around each other. It seemed that if one was ready to show a little willingness, the other would repay it with kindness.

At least Loki found himself wanting to believe in that.


	8. Chapter 8

It seems cruelly mocking yet strangely comforting that absolutely nothing seems out of place in front of the Queen's chambers. Loki finds himself staring at the same wooden door behind which he expects to find the same chambers he has visited countless times throughout his life.

One thing was out of place though.

Loki would always go to Frigga alone. He would come for his lessons, alone, as no one was as advanced as him to learn the art of magic with him. He would spend hours sitting on the comfortable carpet with his mother seated opposite to him. She would patiently explain spells which were getting more complicated with each year. She would never forget to mention that the spell is very advanced; much older sorcerers have tried but failed to master the spell and so Loki must not feel disappointed if he cannot make the spell work immediately.

Loki would not say anything. He was completely absorbed in his mother's monologue. To him, it seemed almost as a song. A song much more beautiful and melodic than those sang during the feasts about the valiant warriors of Asgard who died glorious death serving this realm. Frigga's song, however, was sang about the deepest and most delicate secrets of magic by the voice of his mother filled with love, care and protection. Loki cherished and appreciated those moments of serenity; the world stopped existing and the only thing he knew was that he was good at what he was learning and that his mother loved him and was proud of him.

Such happy thoughts would leave him instantly upon exiting the Queen's chambers and coming back to the world where his brother was the only one deserving of attention, acknowledgement, or affection. The world in which his father's eyes would be filled with disappointment or ridicule upon hearing any of Loki's stories, suggestions or wishes.

Yet despite fully enjoying the moments of Frigga's melodic voice filling the chambers, Loki was concentrated on the meaning of her words. He knew he had talent; he would always doubt its use when around his father, brother, his brother's friends, or pretty much every citizen of Asgard, but deep down he was aware, even in the deepest moments of despair coming from feeling worthless, he was still aware that he truly was special. They all might have been trying to take that knowledge from him, ridicule him and laugh at him to the point that he would question himself and everything he stood for, but deep down he knew that he had a real talent for magic.

It seemed that he was born to become a sorcerer.

He comforted himself with this thought.

Somehow, it made sense.

Thor was born to become a king. Anyone could see that. He was truly his father's son. But Loki was also born into this family. Somehow, he felt like an outsider; he was so different from them. But then he would remind himself of his gift for magic; the talent he shared with his mother. And he would feel that he indeed is part of the family. That Thor can be the heir of the throne while he will be the heir of the ancient knowledge only his mother knows. He could live with that. He never wanted the throne anyway and he knew that a powerful sorcerer can be a match to even such a warrior as Thor. If he works hard enough, they can be equal.

But those times were long gone; the childish hope long lost with the gained knowledge of his true parentage.

But in the happier times, Loki would focus all his attention to his mother's words, remembering and understanding each little part of them, reading between the lines to comprehend how every breath mattered when uttering the spells, how delicate the art truly was. He would never interrupt Frigga even if some part of the spell seemed confusing or if the history of the spell seemed too boring. By the end of the Queen's speech, it all started to make sense.

When Frigga finished, she would look at Loki. He knew it to be the signal for him to try the spell out.

He never, not even once, failed to make the spell work.

Loki didn't know what he appreciated more. If his own skill or the proud and always slightly surprised look in his mother's eyes when he defied all expectations by mastering a spell which should have been far too complicated for him.

The triumph would always be short-lived, of course. There was no one who would listen if Loki tried to tell them what his mother has taught him. He tried to tell father when he was very, very young. Odin would not tell him off nor he would stop him, but Loki could sense that he never really listened, never really cared. He didn't listen to him the way he listened to Thor. Sometimes Loki would talk to Odin anyway, pretending to himself that his father was listening, that he only didn't express the praise.

Once, Loki heard his parents' private conversation. He was sneaking through the palace when he saw them standing in one of the gardens. His name was what caught his attention and so he stayed, hidden behind a column, shielded with a spell.

"You never listen to him. Not truly. Loki is a perceptive child, Odin, he can tell."

"I listen to him, Frigga. He is my son."

"Then treat him like your son. He has a gift of empathy, but if you keep dismissing him as you do, that gift can turn into curse."

"Empathy? His kind is not…"

"Husband!"

"I am sorry."

"Loki is a very empathetic child, Odin. For the sake of all of us, please, just try to understand him."

It was the last time Loki sneaked up on his parents. He didn't want to hear more. He ran away before the conversation was over. Never again would he spy on his parents. He didn't want to listen to them talking about him. It hurt.

A lot of thoughts are flooding Loki's head now when he is standing in front of the entrance to his mother's chambers. It feels strange to be standing here with Thor. When Frigga was alive, they would never come to her chambers together.

The stranger thing was, however, that they were waiting for the Allfather.

The idea of Odin sent a shiver down Loki's spine. Since they settled down in Loki's chambers, the younger brother found himself paranoid that any second the door would open, and he would be dragged back to his cell. Then his mind began playing even more cruel tricks upon him. He could be banished to Jotunheim. Or to any planet suitable for unloved and useless things.

Loki tried to sleep. He did manage to get some rest throughout the afternoon while Thor would bath in the next room and sit on the balcony, surely admiring the glory of the realm that will one day be his. Loki went straight to bed and tried to sleep.

They brought dinner for both of them to his chambers for which Loki was grateful. The brothers ate in silence. Then a healer came to change the bandage on their burnt hands. She applied a special ointment on Thor's hands burn by the Frost Giant's touch and then bandaged their hands only in light gauze which enabled them to use their fingers.

And now they are here.

Summoned by Odin.

What he could possibly want from them Loki didn't know.

"My sons." Odin's voice came seemingly out of nowhere. The brothers turned.

"Oh, please. Stop saying that. You're not fooling anyone." Loki rolled his eyes.

"You are my sons whether you like it or not, Loki." Odin said, trying to sound patient.

"Well…it is good that it isn't whether _you_ like it. If that was the case, it would be one son less." Loki retorted.

"Frigga would not want this to be discussed in front of her chambers."

"Do you think you can just bring mother up anytime you want to silence me?" Loki challenged.

"No. But I can bring the dungeons up." Odin replied.

And Loki opened his mouth to mock the Allfather, but no words came out. He was afraid of the dungeons and Odin knew it. He couldn't return there. He just couldn't. And he knew that Odin would gladly put him there. All he needed was an excuse; an excuse which would justify putting Loki back to that cell so that Odin's conscience could be clear. He gave Loki a chance. The Trickster threw it away. Look, Frigga, I listened to your advice. Loki doesn't appreciate the mercy I have shown him. And so he is back in his cell. This time for good. Odin would win a double price – he would get rid of Loki while attempting to listen to the advice of his beloved wife.

Loki will not let Odin win a double price. At least that's what he told himself when he didn't dare to reply to the Allfather's threat. It wasn't because of fear of that small, never-changing place. No. Not at all.

And Odin clenched his teeth and narrowed his eyes, but only in his mind. On façade, he stayed perfectly calm and emotionless. Yet inside he knew that he botched it. Once again, he gave Loki a reason to hate him. But, and this bothered Odin even more, once again he gave Loki a reason to fear him. His son will keep quiet, but it was because of fear, not understanding. Odin fought the urge to fight his way inside Loki's mind right now; he needed to know what the boy was thinking, what was actually going on inside his head at the moment. He needed to understand him so that he could find the right thing to say. But he knew that if he defied Loki's privacy once again, as he did with the truth spell, Loki would have one more slight for which to never forgive him.

"Why did you summon us, the Allfather?" Loki asked finally. His voice was strong, but Odin could sense that his son was nervous.

"I actually have a task for you, Loki. And as long as the spell binding you two together stays, Thor must be present as well." Odin answered.

"A task for Loki?" Thor questioned, slightly confused.

"Yes, inside the Queen's chambers. Let's talk there." Odin gestured towards the doors. Thor nodded slightly and opened the door to step in. Loki had no possibility but to follow him inside if he didn't want to feel the effect of the spell.

Stepping inside Frigga's chambers himself and closing the door, Odin wondered whether he was doing the right thing. Maybe what his sons needed was to be shown real trust. Yet truth to be told, Loki didn't have Odin's trust. The Allfather needed to know where his son stood. He would continue with his plan. In the end, Thor will never be in real danger.

Not really.

* * *

 **What do you think that Odin could be planning?**


End file.
